fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
