what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
