i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
