More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
