So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
