We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
