I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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