billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
