So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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