google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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