If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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