i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize