My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
