he looks like a really good dad on facebook
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
