Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
