is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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