sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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