How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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