I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
