do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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