and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
