come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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