small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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