If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
In America we eat man semen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
