Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
