I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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