? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
