Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
