Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
