It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
