I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
