their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
