apparently the secret to your success is patron
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
