You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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