All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im holly from the hills drunk
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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