I cannot find my penis.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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