we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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