You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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