God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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