It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
