White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
