Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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