I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
