my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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