ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
