He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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