At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
