forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
