I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
