I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
