PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
