my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
