Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
