his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
