We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
