I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
