we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
