Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Found your dick twin last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
