After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
