you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
