she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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