Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize