I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
