But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
