He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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