I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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